I finally realized where some of my problems lie: I see myself as currently having little justification for my existence. This does not mean I feel like I’m useless or worthless. It simply means I feel as though I’m accomplishing nothing with my life, that nothing I do will matter. In many ways, I think of myself as a failure. How can I justify that viewpoint? Simple: it’s an easier and shorter list to point out my successes. Even limiting a list of failures to equal the amount of successes, matching biggest failure to biggest success, it becomes abundantly clear that I’m losing that tug-of-war.

However, I don’t see myself as a loser. Failure upon failure is a heavy burden. At times a VERY heavy burden. It takes me longer and longer to recover from each. And yet, I do…eventually. And that eventual recovery is why, though a failure, I am not a loser. As a failure, I still hold to certain guiding principles:

1. Take responsibility for my own actions or inaction.
2. Respond to each person and situation with as much grace as possible.
3. Giving up on life is not an option, though rest and recovery are often necessary.

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