I really enjoyed creating the last list of odd, unusual, hopefully humorous definitions for common words used in the fitness industry. I thought I’d do a few more.

Joint — a place where two bones meet, do something fun, and hopefully develop a strong relationship

Jumping Jacks — an exercise designed to get your heart-rate up and cause cramping in the unprepared calf

Transverse — the plane of motion where being twisted is a good thing

Muscle — If beauty is only skin deep, too much of this is grotesque

Sweat — natural pheromone-laden perfume

Injury — “Do it!” they said. “It’ll make you stronger!” they said. “It’ll make you faster!” they said. Now my body has to repair itself…and it doesn’t have the technology, only biology.

Back — A place often ignored in favor of the gilded front

Pushup — pushing the ground away while you keep your body rigid

Row — Make like you’re in a pretend boat on a pretend ocean in order to create real back-ward results

Jump — A function of weight and power to temporarily fly

Blood — a river in which oxygen, carbon dioxide, and other such friends go tubing

Stability — the characteristic of moving only when you want to, despite anything gravity and physics have to say

Aerobic — repeated rhythmic movements intended to invite oxygen to a fat-burning party

Personal Training — The field where physics and biology play

Lactate — Byproduct of exertion often derided as trash, but is actually treasured by the body (see Cori Cycle)

Cori Cycle — The process by which lactate becomes the platter for carrying food to muscles

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